Yes, a long 21 years that got passed. Around 12 years of childhood, 6 years of teenage, 3 years of adult… Time is running so fast.
I can still remember those days when I had joined a new school for 6th standard, when I was made to stand out of the class for a whole period for not asking Mathematics Sir’s permission to leave the class, when I had felt ashamed of myself for not understanding anything that was being taught in the class as I had joined an English medium school in 8th standard, when I had beaten one of my classmates who always used to be the topper in exams, when I had got scolding from the Headmaster in 9th standard, when I had scored good marks in 10th standard even though I was suffering from jaundice, when I had failed in physics test in first PUC, when I always used to get nice scolding from English Madam in her classes for not keeping quiet, when I had got less marks in Mathematics in second PUC, when I had got my CET results and finally when I got seat in BVBCET.
OOPS!!! These 21 years seemed to be passed out like 21 episodes of a daily serial or turned out like 21 pages of a book. I doubt whether really a year consists of 365 days!!
Well, somehow I completed these 21 years of journey of my life. Yeah, it’s really `somehow’. Because when I look back to see the flashback of my life, I feel somehow I spent these years. But, I have not done `something’. In other words I have not `achieved’ anything. Yes, I feel the same. I have just wasted the precious 21 years of my life. What the hell?? How one could live being so much useless??
Let me remember. What did I do till now since I stepped into this earth?? As everyone does I went to schools and colleges, studied the academic things, scored some marks, participated in sports and cultural activities, went for trip and all, enjoyed with friends, spent memorable moments with them – well, these are related to student life. Apart from that..?? I read lot many books, watched thousands of movies, wrote few poems, and..?? And…?? That’s all…?? I have just done the things to pass the time. Those were all the common stuffs that every teenage girl would do. But did I do anything which would make me stand different and unique from others?? Did I do something that would make me proud of myself?? Did I do something that would make my name shining?? Did I do something that would be considered as worth??
No, I did not. I have not done anything as such.
Am I still a kid?? Am I not talented?? Am I any kind of physically handicapped?? Do not I have anybody’s support?? Do not I have enough time?? No. I am a young and energetic, 21 year old girl. I can get each and everything I want. I have everybody’s support – my family, relatives and friends. I have a whole of 24 hours for a day. I am talented enough to achieve anything. Then, why I am still living as `one among all’ life??
It’s just because I lack of determination, self confidence, concentration, interest and many of such things in me which keep hold on me and push me to do something. Then, from where I can get those qualities?? It’s only me who should inbuilt them. It’s my own duty to cultivate those qualities in me and put them in my work to achieve something. Also I did never grow serious about anything so far. I have just led a life of easy going. And above all these comes the biggest ghost, `LAZYNESS’. Yes, it’s such a bad person that whenever I plan to do one or the other thing it slowly whispers into my ears “You shall do it later”. And believe me that `later’ does never come.
Now, it’s of no use to keep thinking about the past. 21 years went wasted, let it be. Enough of easy going life. Let me grow a bit serious and look ahead. I have the most beautiful days of my life waiting for me in future. My graduation, then post graduation, my job, my career and etc etc. This is the period of life one make use to the maximum. So, I shall turn my hobbies into some useful work and I shall then utilize these years to my best to do something that would be considered as an `ACHIEVEMENT’. It’s not enough if I just `Think’ and `Decide’. I must `Act’. So when shall I start acting? It’s not `LATER’ anymore.
It’s only `NOW’.